Add py::set_error(), use in updated py::exception<> documentation (#4772)

* Copy clang 17 compatibility fixes from PR #4762 to a separate PR.

* static py::exception<> -> static py::handle

* Add `py::set_error()` but also try the suggestion of @malfet (https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/106401#pullrequestreview-1559961407).

* clang 17 compatibility fixes (#4767)

* Copy clang 17 compatibility fixes from PR #4762 to a separate PR.

* Add gcc:13 C++20

* Add silkeh/clang:16-bullseye C++20

* chore(deps): update pre-commit hooks (#4770)

updates:
- [github.com/psf/black: 23.3.0 → 23.7.0](https://github.com/psf/black/compare/23.3.0...23.7.0)
- [github.com/astral-sh/ruff-pre-commit: v0.0.276 → v0.0.281](https://github.com/astral-sh/ruff-pre-commit/compare/v0.0.276...v0.0.281)
- [github.com/asottile/blacken-docs: 1.14.0 → 1.15.0](https://github.com/asottile/blacken-docs/compare/1.14.0...1.15.0)

Co-authored-by: pre-commit-ci[bot] <66853113+pre-commit-ci[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>

* docs: Remove upper bound on pybind11 in example pyproject.toml for setuptools (#4774)

* docs: Remove upper bound on pybind11 in example pyproject.toml for setuptools

* Update docs/compiling.rst

---------

Co-authored-by: Henry Schreiner <HenrySchreinerIII@gmail.com>

* Provide better type hints for a variety of generic types (#4259)

* Provide better type hints for a variety of generic types

* Makes better documentation
* tuple, dict, list, set, function

* Move to py::typing

* style: pre-commit fixes

* Update copyright line with correct year and actual author. The author information was copy-pasted from the git log output.

---------

Co-authored-by: Ralf W. Grosse-Kunstleve <rwgk@google.com>
Co-authored-by: pre-commit-ci[bot] <66853113+pre-commit-ci[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>

* Use `py::set_error()` everywhere possible (only one special case, in common.h).
Overload `py::set_error(py::handle, py::handle)`.
Change back to `static py::handle exc = ... .release();`
Deprecate `py::exception<>::operator()`

* Add `PYBIND11_WARNING_DISABLE` for INTEL and MSVC (and sort alphabetically).

* `PYBIND11_WARNING_DISABLE_INTEL(10441)` does not work.

For ICC only, falling back to the recommended `py::set_error()` to keep the testing simple.

It is troublesome to add `--diag-disable=10441` specifically for test_exceptions.cpp, even that is non-ideal because it covers the entire file, not just the one line we need it for, and the value of exercising the trivial deprecated `operator()` on this one extra platform is practically zero.

* Fix silly oversight.

* NVHPC 23.5.0 generates deprecation warnings. They are currently not treated as errors, but falling back to using `py::set_error()` to not have to deal with that distraction.

---------

Co-authored-by: pre-commit-ci[bot] <66853113+pre-commit-ci[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>
Co-authored-by: Keto D. Zhang <keto.zhang@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Henry Schreiner <HenrySchreinerIII@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Dustin Spicuzza <dustin@virtualroadside.com>

docs/advanced/exceptions.rst

@@ -127,8 +127,7 @@ before a global translator is tried.
 Inside the translator, ``std::rethrow_exception`` should be used within
 a try block to re-throw the exception.  One or more catch clauses to catch
 the appropriate exceptions should then be used with each clause using
-``PyErr_SetString`` to set a Python exception or ``ex(string)`` to set
-the python exception to a custom exception type (see below).
+``py::set_error()`` (see below).
 
 To declare a custom Python exception type, declare a ``py::exception`` variable
 and use this in the associated exception translator (note: it is often useful
@@ -142,14 +141,17 @@ standard python RuntimeError:
 
 .. code-block:: cpp
 
-    static py::exception<MyCustomException> exc(m, "MyCustomError");
+    // This is a static object, so we must leak the Python reference:
+    // It is undefined when the destructor will run, possibly only after the
+    // Python interpreter is finalized already.
+    static py::handle exc = py::exception<MyCustomException>(m, "MyCustomError").release();
     py::register_exception_translator([](std::exception_ptr p) {
         try {
             if (p) std::rethrow_exception(p);
         } catch (const MyCustomException &e) {
-            exc(e.what());
+            py::set_error(exc, e.what());
         } catch (const OtherException &e) {
-            PyErr_SetString(PyExc_RuntimeError, e.what());
+            py::set_error(PyExc_RuntimeError, e.what());
         }
     });
 
@@ -168,8 +170,7 @@ section.
 
 .. note::
 
-    Call either ``PyErr_SetString`` or a custom exception's call
-    operator (``exc(string)``) for every exception caught in a custom exception
+    Call ``py::set_error()`` for every exception caught in a custom exception
     translator.  Failure to do so will cause Python to crash with ``SystemError:
     error return without exception set``.
 
@@ -200,7 +201,7 @@ If module1 has the following translator:
         try {
             if (p) std::rethrow_exception(p);
         } catch (const std::invalid_argument &e) {
-            PyErr_SetString("module1 handled this")
+            py::set_error(PyExc_ArgumentError, "module1 handled this");
         }
       }
 
@@ -212,7 +213,7 @@ and module2 has the following similar translator:
         try {
             if (p) std::rethrow_exception(p);
         } catch (const std::invalid_argument &e) {
-            PyErr_SetString("module2 handled this")
+            py::set_error(PyExc_ArgumentError, "module2 handled this");
         }
       }
 
@@ -312,11 +313,11 @@ error protocol, which is outlined here.
 After calling the Python C API, if Python returns an error,
 ``throw py::error_already_set();``, which allows pybind11 to deal with the
 exception and pass it back to the Python interpreter. This includes calls to
-the error setting functions such as ``PyErr_SetString``.
+the error setting functions such as ``py::set_error()``.
 
 .. code-block:: cpp
 
-    PyErr_SetString(PyExc_TypeError, "C API type error demo");
+    py::set_error(PyExc_TypeError, "C API type error demo");
     throw py::error_already_set();
 
     // But it would be easier to simply...