Splitting out pybind11/stl/filesystem.h. (#3077)

* Splitting out pybind11/stl/filesystem.h.

To solve breakages like: https://github.com/deepmind/open_spiel/runs/2999582108

Mostly following the suggestion here: https://github.com/pybind/pybind11/pull/2730#issuecomment-750507575

Except using pybind11/stl/filesystem.h instead of pybind11/stlfs.h, as decided via chat.

stl.h restored to the exact state before merging PR #2730 via:
```
git checkout 733f8de24f stl.h
```

* Properly including new stl subdirectory in pip wheel config.

This now passes interactively:
```
pytest tests/extra_python_package/
```

* iwyu cleanup.

iwyuh.py -c -std=c++17 -DPYBIND11_TEST_BOOST -Ipybind11/include -I/usr/include/python3.9 -I/usr/include/eigen3 include/pybind11/stl/filesystem.h

* Adding PYBIND11_HAS_FILESYSTEM_IS_OPTIONAL.

* Eliminating else after return.

tools/setup_main.py.in

@@ -16,12 +16,14 @@ setup(
         "pybind11",
         "pybind11.include.pybind11",
         "pybind11.include.pybind11.detail",
+        "pybind11.include.pybind11.stl",
         "pybind11.share.cmake.pybind11",
     ],
     package_data={
         "pybind11": ["py.typed", "*.pyi"],
         "pybind11.include.pybind11": ["*.h"],
         "pybind11.include.pybind11.detail": ["*.h"],
+        "pybind11.include.pybind11.stl": ["*.h"],
         "pybind11.share.cmake.pybind11": ["*.cmake"],
     },
     extras_require={